Nervous Breakdown Feelings
By Joanne Highley
We have seen many times in the past 25 years of ministry that some people who have had breakdowns in their childhood or youth continued to suffer the effects of that breakdown for many years unless they are worked out of the person's emotions or mind. This is one of the major ways Satan works to paralyze the person emotionally and to block their way out of pain, fear and trauma.
The reason this happens is the fact that when the mind is on overload and shuts down because of great stress and trauma, the thoughts and emotions of the shut-down are trapped in the person. They are kept hidden because of the shut-down and later by the great fear of reliving the pain that preceded the breakdown. So the fear or self-hatred or feelings of being abandoned, unloved and unlovable remain. This can be one of the major motivations for seeking a fix to hold these powerful emotions inside, not felt or processed or understood. Because of this condition, many people who have had breakdowns wake up with very dark thoughts of gloom and doom. They may feel that everything they will have to do, even the smallest tasks, will be very difficult and heavy.
So the person continues to live under the unreality and power of these emotions after they have moved far beyond the place where the trauma occurred. It is wonderful as a counselor to be a participant with God in getting the person to understand the things that they were traumatized by are over now and they can let go and not live by the fear of what caused the breakdown.
One man we have worked with for years recently got in touch with the truth about what happened to him in childhood. Trauma had come at a very early age because of loud fights between his parents and the violent breaking of items in his home. This caused him to be hypervigilant in his central nervous system. He was given more overload by his being criticized and told he must work hard to be acceptable. He began to be tense and always rushing inside to try to do what it took to be accepted. Violence from his father who had a quick temper and a desire to control him in a bullying way, made his emotions even more repressed All these things did not cause him to break, but his central nervous system was strained and his self-esteem was shaky. Then he moved to a new school and neighborhood where he was not accepted by his peers as he had been at the previous school. He tried to compete with other boys to feel outstanding or acceptable, but it was not possible.
This is when he gave up and he felt a wall of darkness begin to close in on him. He stayed alone in his room, listening to dark music and doing drugs. The breakdown came and he had years of suicidal thoughts mixed with anger and hatred of himself.
It was at this time he began to reach out for acceptance from men who wanted homosexual connection. In the state of breakdown and hopelessness and self-hatred, homosexuality, while unpleasant at first, became a refuge for a desperate man. But it does not deliver what it promises and makes the person worse and worse as the darkness of suicide and depression close in.
How we thank God for His love and power. He kept this man from death and destruction and gave him more and more light as he turned from death and depression slowly over the years. He got rid of homosexual contacts, stopped drugs and going to bars. He went to church and L.I.F.E. and worked on his emotions so they could not lie to him. He has found not only that there is freedom from homosexuality, but freedom from nervous breakdown feelings of darkness, depression and death. He is discovering his gifts and calling from the Lord. What a joy to see this happen!
When you are working to uproot old nervous breakdown feelings, it is very important to realize you may feel like you are having a breakdown. For many people, this awful feeling can keep them resisting the work to deal with these feelings because of fear of another breakdown. Please understand that if you have worked enough to get you in touch with old breakdown feelings, you will not have another breakdown. Instead, as these feelings begin to surface, you must see yourself as only a conduit for these feelings and not at all a part of them. I described it as vomiting---you are not a part of the vomit, but it does make you feel bad before it is thrown up. But afterward you feel much better because of getting rid of the offending food, or in the case of the emotions, the offending lies and poisons from demonic power.
You will need to stand strong as you allow these old lies of depression, fear, self-hatred, unreality or others to be uprooted and come out of you. You will need a counselor to pray against these emotional lies and demonic oppression. I find it helpful to pray over the central nervous system and the brain to break the stronghold of overload and tension that holds the person captive.
We find there is a need to call the person to rest a lot and enter the Sabbath rest of God (Hebrews 4). As the body rests and the nervous system is cleansed and freed, the person can think more clearly and more revelation comes through. Also it is vital that the person stays free from sin during this time or the work cannot be accomplished.
The person should not be alarmed at the reaction of his or her family members when coming out of nervous breakdown feelings. They will not want to believe that you can change and will hold you in the same place as you were before the work. This should be seen only as blindness to the power of God on the part of those who take such a position. It is not true but is typical because many people feel there is no freedom from this problem. These is total freedom waiting for those of you who have had breakdowns and will work to uproot the old lies and demonic oppression. May God be with you as you work for this freedom.